East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
