mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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