seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
