i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize