i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
