Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize