please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
