i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize