So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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