i don't like sucking hair
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
