Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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