btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
