there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
