R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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