i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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