My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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