Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
