i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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