My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My cat gives me a boner
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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