Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
