her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
