i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
