Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
