I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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