I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
