first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
