well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
