yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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