sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My ass is underappreciated
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
