Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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