even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
