I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
