I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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