Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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