How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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