So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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