I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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