can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
