The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
