I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
