I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
