worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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