so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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