one two three fourrrrnication!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
