oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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