you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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