I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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