I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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