my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
this will be a night to untag.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
