Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
