So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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