haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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