He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
