I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
