Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
