I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I deserve this hangover.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
