So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We have so much sex to catch up on
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
