u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
