I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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